Happy New Year, you mangy bastards. Well whaddaya know, it's
a new year and a new day, and there are new levels of mediocrity
for us to explore. Come on, it'll be fun. I guess now i'm
supposed to promise you that 2002 will be even better than
that second half of 2001, but instead I don't promise anything.
In a non-related note,
Bob 'N Ed is back so go read it!
Hey, everybody! Lookie! The site is subtley going through changes, all to make your Situation:
Nowhereing experience that much more enjoyable. You might have noticed a newer, less stupid
header on the site a little while ago. So now that the top of the site has been reinvented, we
present to you this: A newer, more fantastical bottom of the site! Check this out: A scroll bar!
You can scroll up and down, up and down, and see all the updates since the site began six
months ago! We happen to owe these new changes to the ever lovely Jackie, who stayed up most of
the night writing it for me. Thanks, Jackie, it looks supertendous. Let's all show Jackie how
grateful we are for this spiffy new development, by yelling "Thanks, Jackie!" at the top of our
lungs, right now.
Come on, 1, 2, 3, now!
Keep a look out for more changes in the weeks to come.
As I'm sure some of the more observant readers will recall, for
months now there has been a Situation: Nowhere store, but nothing in
it. Well all that has finally changed. We're now full to the brim
with wonderful shirts and mouse pads and even a hat, all covered
in the words Situation: Nowhere. What a beautiful thing.
And just in time for Christmas, too! How convenient!
Buy your shit now, because it's super-low priced. I'm literally
making one cent profit on most of it. They make the perfect gifts!
Soylent Greens is People!
Sorry, everyone, I messed up. Not that it's anything major, but I
forgot what today's date is. So when I uploaded today's comic, I set it
to appear on the 11th instead of the 9th. No real harm done, I
suppose, but still it was a while before I was able to fix it. So to
those of you who came here and saw the old comic instead, well,
sucks to be you.
So who are all these crazy cats? Well, let's see, from left to right
it's Erin, Emily, Ray (the bald one) James (the short one), Sean, Jon,
Mark, Crazy Peek-Out-From-Behind-The-Seat-Man, Mike, John, Rob,
Christina and Abbey. And you guys thought the only characters were
Jackie and me, pah!
I'd like to take this opportunity to say hi to all the colleges
that are checking out my web site. I hope you enjoy it enough to
give me lots and lots of scholarship money.
Well, that wraps it up for the Daily strips. Tune in Next monday for
your regularly scheduled programing.
Just so we're clear on this, I didn't actually take another week off. rather,
my computer contracted a bad case of the Nimda Virus. Which, in itself,
wouldn't have been such a bad thing if my dad hadn't been so overzealous
about getting rid of it. He just had to go and reinstal windows.
After he was done screwing up our computer, I couldn't get to my FTP. And if
i can't get to my FTP, I can't add new comics.
So it wasn't a real hiatus, it was a forced one.
I'll make it up to you, though! Here's what I'm going to do: For every day
that I missed, I'll do a strip daily. So basically, since I missed four
strips, I'll do four strips in a daily way. And since that would cause me to
miss two strips, I'll make those two daily right after it.
If you do the math, you'll find that that means a while week of daily strips.
7 strips all in a row, for your viewing pleasure.
I'm going on a week long Hiatus. Hopefully when I get back I'll be better
adjusted to school, and better able to keep up with the comic.
I've been having some problems adjusting to school. There's just something
unnerving about getting up at 6:30 and going to hell. Anyway, that's why I've
been having problems updating. As soon as I get back into it I'll be better.
And also, the strip is stuck in a particularly depressing note right now.
Hopefully it'll be over soon.
And now, a couple of non-related notes. As I'm sure a few of you had noticed
from the giant new button to the right, I now have a Situation: Nowhere
Store. Unfortunately, there's nothing in it yet. I'm working on it, there'll
be some merchandise soon.
Also, the Keenspace Top 99 is back. I'd appreciate it if you'd all vote for
me, it would be a very nice thing to do.
That's all, folks.
Yeah, I know. I missed an update and then updated late in the day.
You wanna make something of it?
Beowulf was really boring.
That's Right! Situation: Nowhere will continue far into the future and not
end yesterday! I was worried for a while about Junior Year being the hardest
year and all, I'd already have a huge workload without the comic on top/ But
then I talked to my art teacher and the Comic Strip actually sounds like the
best thing I could have done over the summer. I can actually turn it in for a
project or something, and I might be able to convince him to let me turn the
consecutive strips in as a sketchbook, but that's pushing it.
Anyway, school officially started today. Friday was just some stupid
hour-and-a-half orientation. This is so depressing. I think I'm going to go
cry in a corner.
I'd like to apologize to Jackie for the second panel. I was having problems
drawing her, so i made up for it by drawing a pirate penguin.
Today is my last day of summer vacation (yes, it was supposed to be Tuesday,
but a power outage at my school caused them to put it back two days). That's
why I'm late in updating.
How terribly depressing.
This is the last of the old school Joe work. And, believe it or not, this was
only drawn...at most five months ago. See how quickly my drawing style
Okay, I'll admit, this was just a clever ploy to put off doing the comic. The
real comic will be up tomorrow, I repeat tomorrow, not the day after! I'm
still on vacation time, y'see. I need a day or so to get back in the swing.
On another, kewler note, I was in my first Cameo the other day! It was over
on Lawn Gnomes, so go check it out! I'm wearing a hat in it! I don't often
wear hats, so this is extra special. B'sides, it's not just any hat, it's a
Where's Waldo hat! So see if you can find me!
Well, I'm back from vacation. Back to decent temperatures and a house that
doesn't reek of cat. *Sigh* I miss it already.
I suppose now you'll all want me to fix all the broken buttons on my site,
don't you? Well, fine. It's not like I have anything else to do, like say,
savor the last of my summer vacation. That's right, folks, it ends in five
days. Meaning that the comic does too.
It's had a good run. It got pretty popular--not as popular as I was
originally led to believe, but majority of you had only good things to say.
Oh well, no use getting all nostalgic about it now. We can wait four days or
so for that.
I'll fix the site in the morning. As of now I'm dead tired. You'd be
surprised how much sleeping on an airplane takes it out of you.
Every summer, my dad and I pack our bags and head off to some vacation spot
to spend some quality time together. This year, the two of us are headed off
to Florida. Six o'clock today I'll be on a plane headed south for a week of
fun in the sun; spending the days traversing theme parks and the nights most
likely asleep. What does that mean to you? Well, for a week I'm going to be
away from a scanner.
So what's going to happen with the comic? Simple, this week Situation:
Nowhere goes Retro! Since I'm sure all of you care ever so much about my life
before Keenspace, the next four strips will be from then I first started
experimenting with comic strips.
I can't draw heads from a vertical angle. It's just one of those things that
I don't try often, and now that I do it doesn't look right. In today's comic
we're supposed to be looking down at the penguin, and it didn't turn out
quite like I wanted. But hey, it turned out fine, you can tell that's what
we're doing anyway, and I really love the way I turned out in the first
panel. It was by far the hardest thing I've had to draw yet for this strip,
and it looks great in my opinion. My head in the last panel, on the other
hand, looks like someone ate the first panel and then barfed it back up. Oh
well, live and learn.
Since Jackie is on vacation this week, I need someone to fill on for her. The
obvious answer is Jason, because I was talking to him when I realized I
needed someone to fill in for her. That's not a very good caricature of him,
mind you. It looked a lot better in pencil. I kinda killed it when I inked
him. So you'll just have to use your imaginations.
In other news, I hate Keenspace. Not in general, I just hate the way it's
always broken. The updates went this time, and if the auto update doesn't
work, there's no comic today. Normally I'd just accept that as part of life,
but not today! Today that's unacceptable, so I put today's comic in the old
fashioned way and did one o' them-there manual updates. of course that means
the automatic features aren't working, so just for today the "next" button
will lead to yesterday's comic so you'll all know how exactly I got the
penguin. Thanks and please everyone, put up with me as I put up with
Today is a great day indeed. For today I got my forum! All the buttons now
work (unless of course they're broken) and the site is officially complete!
As I'm sure some of you have noticed, the past few strips have not been
inked. Well believe it or not, that's nut just because I'm lazy and don't
want to go through the tediousness...It's because I can't find my pen.
Now that we have that out of the way, today we meet two new characters, Ray
and James. They won't be on the cast page for a while, but believe me, they
are in fact part of the cast.
To show you how much I really care about my audience, I forgot to make a
strip for today. And, when I tried to make one this morning to update late,I
found I had been afflicted with a crippling case of artist's block. So I
don't want to make one anymore. Go away.
On a non-related note, I hope Jackie works out the problems she's going
through. That is all.
Horay, I have readers now.
It's been pointed out that this is, in fact, a reality-based comic strip,
meaning that, by definition, it's based on events that actually happened in
real life. And yet the things that have happened in the last few comics never
actually took place. Indeed, Jackie and I never stood around telling jokes to
an invisible audience. Well what I'm trying to do with these is to set the
tone of the strip. I'm trying to carve out the kind of humor that you can
expect from the strip later on in the mind of the readers. Indeed, bad jokes
that aren't really funny but you laugh anyway just to be polite. Y'all come
back now, y'hear?
I know, it's been forever since my last update. And now that I finally did
update I did it at 2:00 PM and the strip isn't even inked. And in that strip
I ditches a storyline. But hey, at least I updated. Right?
Today we meet a new character: Jackie, my faithful sidekick. Like Calvin had
Hobbes and Garfield had Odie, so too do I have Jackie. And now that I'm done
with the introduction, we can get on with the strip instead of needlessly
draw it out. Hooray!
Today's strip is hand written because Adobe Illustrator is being
The first strip came out today! Horay, let's celebrate!
And at least someone has pointed out that on the pilot strip, I said that the
comic would start on Saturday, July 1st, when in fact the first of July is a
Sunday. Well to that I say "Screw you, it's my comic. Here I am god, and if I
say today is Saturday then it's Saturday, Dammit!"
In other news, four of the seven buttons are now working. The About, Cast,
Gallery and Home buttons are in perfect working order, though if you go to
the gallery then you'll have to excuse it's poor quality and lack of content.
I'll add more later and fix the broken thumbnails, but as for now I'm sick of
the computer. And so on that note, I bid you adu.
My Keenspace site finally got here! Huzzah! Now I get to stay up until 8 in
the morning trying to figure out what the hell those tags do.
Have I mentioned I'm computer illiterate?
Oh well, live and learn, right? I mean...hundreds of people have figured it
out before me, how hard could it be?
Mind bogglingly hard, that's how.
What's up? I'm building my site, isn't that exciting? It gives me a false
sense of power, which I find quite comforting. Maybe one day I'll have gotten
a design for the site that I like, but until then I can keep rearranging it
until I get so disgusted I put my fist through the computer screen, and we're
all screwed. I can't wait!